Top of the weekend to you all. What to make of another week in which August felt like October? Distractions might help. Try communicating with your dog. Hail Ripley, queen of the “crazy cat ladies”. Or if you’re keen to head off global heating at the pass, one of this week’s reads offers a possible solution if society is brave enough to change.
1. A cocaine kingpin’s wildest legacy
Even notorious drug barons have passion projects. For Pablo Escobar, it was curating a menagerie of exotic animals at his hacienda in rural Colombia. Five years after he was shot dead in 1993, the government seized the property and sent most of the animals to private zoos.
Except the hippopotamuses, which were considered too dangerous to move. They duly multiplied, and estimates suggest the population could now be 200 strong. And the huge, semiaquatic mammals native to sub-Saharan Africa are starting to make their presence felt: not just destroying crops, but with toxic dung that poisons waterways.
Joshua Hammer takes a ride with the conservationists trying to tackle the problem head on – by castrating the hippos in the wild.
Content warning: One such operation to remove “mango-sized testicles” is recounted in some detail.
How long will it take to read: 10 minutes.
2. Do look back in anger
I almost felt sorry for Noel Gallagher (and his High Flying Birds) when in 2019 he closed out a set supporting U2 with a couple of Oasis covers into All You Need Is Love, essentially admitting nothing he and the band had penned across their 10-year span was a mic drop moment.
Now Noel and brother Liam have accepted their lot and got the band back together. Fans are ecstatic. I am ambivalent. Music journalist and author Simon Price is furious that the “damaging pop-cultural force” and generally quite horrible pair (as is evidenced by some of their regressive public statements) are being celebrated. Strap yourself in.
Sample insult: “Oasis offer nothing but a sludgy, trudgy, brontosaurus-bottomed waddle, perfect for that adult nappy gait so beloved of their singer and fans.”
How long will it take to read: Two minutes.
3. ‘We’re not as open about sex as we imagine’
It’s always interesting when a celebrity on the promotion trail butts heads with their interviewer, and this deep read with Gillian Anderson takes a detour about halfway through. The actor is touting Want, a book about women’s sexual fantasies in which anonymous contributors wrote “Dear Gillian” letters for possible inclusion.
Anderson hopes Want will help other women to articulate “their wants and needs”. Emma Brockes suggests some of the lesbian fantasies are ridden with latent homophobia. They eventually reach some common ground.
“I have a recurring sexual fantasy about a dentist. It specifically involves the dentist chair and being tied down. I don’t know what it means, and I’d probably be super upset if my actual dentist tried to fuck me, but …” – Anonymous
How long will it take to read: Seven minutes.
Further reading: This extract from Anderson’s book introduces eight tales of lust and longing. In one, an Australian woman is a literal machine.
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4. What is degrowth, and can it save the planet?
Is gross domestic product really the best measure of a country’s success, economic or otherwise? Proponents of the degrowth or post-growth movement argue that aggregate output is mostly organised around “what is profitable to capital – and beneficial to elite consumers” instead of things that improve people’s lives.
Like anything associated with the global economy, the ins and outs are complicated. Matthew Taylor speaks to economists who thankfully leave the jargon in their briefcases and lay it out plain: the urgency of a new growth mindset as the climate crisis bites, and why that would run up against “the interests of the ruling class”.
Topical: Jason Hickel, a post-growth flag bearer, says environmentalists and labour unions should unite to build a “working-class environmentalism that can tip the scales in the right direction”.
How long will it take to read: Three minutes.
5. The rise of ‘manscaping’
“Manscaping” – waxing chests, trimming pubic hair, etc – was commonplace for gay men before a depilated David Beckham’s underwear ads apparently triggered a gay-to-straight crossover a decade ago.
Now that getting a “boyzilian” is an actual thing, Zoe Williams enlisted her husband to have his crack waxed for research purposes. Hilarity ensued.
Worst case scenario: Minute wounds in a moist environment can cause Fournier gangrene, which eats the flesh of the scrotum, penis and perineum. Not very sexy.
How long will it take to read: Four minutes.
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