Before the taste test I asked the other reviewers: what makes a good tin of baked beans? One reviewer said they wanted the baked beans to give her the feeling of her dad making her breakfast in the morning. If your dad is making your breakfast, you’re likely either a child, in need of comfort, or both. Baked beans are the thing for that situation – uncomplicated, surprise-free and available almost instantly. The culinary equivalent of rewatching a romcom after a day you’d like to forget.
The above criteria is what I had in mind while reviewing these nine supermarket baked bean brands. I wasn’t looking for the low-salt, low-sugar restraint of the supermarket’s health brands, nor did I want the careless, overcooked glug of a hospital kitchen. I wanted the saucy, sweet and savoury childhood memories of baked beans to come to the plate.
Four friends joined me in the taste test. Each serving of beans was microwaved for two minutes and served to us blind. We scored each brand on taste and texture. Brands that did not meet the above brief were scored harshly. We found there were, somewhat appropriately, few innovations in the baked beans market. All brands contained navy beans (also known as pea beans) and have similar bean-to-sauce ratios, and sugar and sodium levels. Because of that, there were no standouts.
Any of the baked beans that scored over a five out of 10 will fit the brief for a parent-delivered breakfast and any other situation requiring an instant and easy meal. F. Whitlock & Sons did not score highly among the reviewers, but if you love smoky flavours, you might enjoy them. The “healthy” brands, however, did not fit the brief, at all. If health is your focus, just get a can of beans and add them to whatever sauce you want – it’ll taste better.
Best overall
SPC Baked Beans Rich Tomato, 425g, $2.50 (59c per 100g), available at major supermarkets
Score: 8/10
Because there are very few and very similar ingredients in supermarket baked beans, I was expecting much the same flavour profile across the board. What surprised me was the variation in savouriness and umami. SPC made some of the other brands seem like cans of water. It was also one of the more overtly spiced brands – the reviewer next to me yelled “Wow, cinnamon!” when they first ate it. Other than that, it’s a standard baked bean. As one reviewer wrote: “Right flavour. Right texture.” I also appreciate the fact it’s the only baked bean product we tasted that was made in Australia.
Best value
Woolworths Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce, 420g, $1.10, (26c per 100g), available at Woolworths
Score: 7/10
“They can hold themselves together under the pressure of the microwave,” one reviewer wrote. It sounds basic, but this was not a challenge other beans had the dignity of succeeding in, many of them crumbling, splitting or threatening to dissolve into mush. These beans didn’t just stay intact, they also had bite – a rare thing in baked bean land. Nothing unexpected in the sauce, but it scored points for being more tomatoey than its competitors.
The rest
Wattie’s Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce, 420g, $2.60 (62c per 100g), available at major supermarkets
Score: 6.5/10
These beans smelled like canned spaghetti cooked in bacon fat, and were luscious and red – “a very sexy looking baked bean,” one reviewer wrote. The taste experience is similarly extroverted, the recipe doing whatever it can to get your attention – it has the most sodium, the most sugar and the biggest tomato flavour, plus a big smoky hit. Reviewers were divided, some praised the smokiness and tomato-forward flavour but others thought it was too tomatoey. As an extrovert myself, this is typical feedback. What is exciting to some is too loud to others.
Corale Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce, 420g, $1.09 (26c per 100g), available at Aldi
Score: 6/10
Oddly, the most divisive baked bean of the day was one of the most generic, with a few reviewers incorrectly guessing it might be Heinz. The detractors described it as “kid food” that “tastes like old Tupperware”, but fans liked the childish appeal. “Warms the cockles of my heart, so wholesome, so cheering,” one reviewer wrote. And after all, isn’t that the point?
Heinz Beanz, 300g, $2.80 (93c per 100g), available at major supermarkets
Score: 5.5/10
If we had scored for appearance, Heinz would have struggled – broken beans and loose bean skins made one reviewer describe it as “cheap”. No one guessed this was Heinz. I assumed one of the most recognisable brands in the supermarket would also deliver the most expected flavour: a basic salty, sweet profile. Instead, it was smoky and one of the least sweet of the day. “Bad looking, great tasting,” a reviewer wrote. “Brings me no disappointment,” wrote another.
Coles Baked Beans Tomato Sauce, 425g, $1.50 (35c per 100g), available at Coles
Score: 5/10
“A salt-less wasteland,” wrote one reviewer. Amen. One of the big surprises of the taste test was how soft the seasoning was across the board. There wasn’t a single product I thought was too salty, and many brands tasted as if they hadn’t been seasoned at all – just overcooked tomatoey mush, like I’d been transported to a middle class, white Australian dinner table in the 90s. Otherwise, these beans were fine in the most predictable way. “Meets my admittedly low standards of what I expect in a baked bean to be edible and satisfying,” one reviewer wrote.
F. Whitlock & Sons Killer Beans Smoky Campfire BBQ, 420g, $3.80 (90c per 100g), available at major supermarkets
Score: 4.5/10
Like my approach to work friendships and the marketing on the back of the can – which tells me to “saddle up” for beans “wanted dead or alive” – this is trying too hard. “Too smoky,” wrote one reviewer. “Hold the paprika, I feel attacked,” wrote another. It was the only product to have a mix of navy, kidney and black beans (every other can contained navy beans only), which I’ll admit I was excited by, until they completely gave way under the bare minimum amount of teeth pressure. But at least I experienced something, which is not something I could say about the next two brands.
Macro Wholefoods Market Certified Organic Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce, 420g, $1.60 (38c per 100g)
Score: 3.5/10
The most generous comment this can of beans elicited was “squishy”. The harshest: “aggressively institutional” like the textureless, joyless mush you’d expect to be served in hospital, on school camp or in some other environment where you have no agency over what you eat. It was bland but not the ordinary variety of bland. This was oppressively so, like traffic jams and student accommodation.
Oh So Natural Organic Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce, 420g, $1.49 (35c per 100g), available at Aldi
Score: 2/10
This was a bean of paradoxes. “How can this be dry and wet?” one reviewer wrote, obviously confused with how such a wet sauce can fail to properly hydrate beans that are so dry they crumble instead of mashing under a bite. Confusingly, the sauce was also roundly criticised for being too sweet as well as too bland. In summary, one reviewer wrote: “When you get trapped in the mountains by an avalanche, dig yourself out, drag yourself to a falling-down hut and there’s one dried up can with no label, left by Shackleton, it would taste like this.”